Getting intentional: why I swapped resolutions for intentions

 

We asked psychologist, coach and author of the beautiful book Self-Care for Winter, Suzy Reading to inspire readers with ways to look at aspirations ahead in a mindful and meaningful way - and with a healthy dose of self-compassion.

As the Psychology Expert for wellbeing brand Neom Organics, founding member of the ‘Nourish’ app and author behind an array of incredible books, Suzy is a specialist in helping people manage their stress, emotions, and energetic bank balance.

 

With the advent of a fresh New Year, you may feel a natural impulse to pause, reflect and plan, but please be gentle if you are not feeling fresh in yourself with the onset of 2025. Post-Christmas blues are real; you might feel depleted by the pace, the excesses and the financial squeeze of December, coupled with the short, grey days and cold temperatures. January can be a genuinely challenging time to create change. While our calendar date suggests it’s time to turn over a new leaf, there are still a few months to wait for the real resurgence of energy that comes with the advent of spring.

It's also a noisy time of year and the backlash against ‘New Year, new you’ might have you questioning these New Year practices. Perhaps you’ve also learnt from experience that resolutions don’t work and falling off the wagon can leave a real dent in your self-esteem. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

"The research is clear: you are more likely to make something happen if you get intentional and it also makes you happier. Research shows that people who commit to something personally significant are happier than those without firm aspirations."

Goals give structure to your time, focus your attention and give shape to your life, they help you get organised and simplify your decision-making, boosting your willpower, and intentions framed in the right way give you a sense of drive and motivation. We can harness the motivation for being purposeful, we just need to approach it in ways that are compassionate and doable.

 

How to make it a gentle January

Resolutions tend to set us on a path involving grand, sweeping change across many different aspects of life all at once and it’s simply not possible to sustain doing it all simultaneously. To avoid overwhelm, choose one area, identify one healthy habit, and embed it into daily life before considering the next incremental wave of change.

Words matter

The language we use matters. We often frame our goals negatively, such as the intention to eat less chocolate or drink less alcohol, but this unfortunately primes the brain for exactly what we want to avoid! The antidote here is to set intentions around what you want to start doing, or do more of, or identify a direct swap for a more life-giving ritual.

Forge ahead with flex

For our intentions to serve us, we need to take into consideration our available resources and make sure our expectations are realistic by tweaking our plans as life variables evolve. 

"Have you noticed the tendency to overestimate the capacity your future self will have or perhaps you underestimate the number of unexpected demands on your time? You’re not alone. It’s not that you’ve failed at your goals, they just needed a little more flex."

In addition to staying anchored in what’s genuinely achievable, proactively consider any obstacles and brainstorm some solutions to overcome them.

 

Take baby steps

When we’re thinking about the change we want to create in our lives we often focus on end results, with little attention paid to the HOW. Goals that involve things that are not directly in our control can be very demotivating, like losing weight or improving our sleep. There is nothing wrong with these intentions but the goals we set need to revolve around the action that takes us there – the things that lie within our control, like daily movement, taking our morning supplement or a relaxation habit. Break it down into action steps and use these to shape your intentions.

Healthy habits are your scaffolding

To find our groove in January, I think it helps to observe the ‘pendulum swing’ - after the indulgence of Christmas it’s natural to want to clean things up, but the changes we tend to embark on are not sustainable. The good news is that they don’t need to be sustained, we just need to find balance. Approach January as a time of recalibration and get clear on the scaffolding of healthy habits that you need to be able to thrive at this time of year. Get them on automatic pilot one by one and this is how we create a lifestyle that supports us.

Percolate, ponder and prompt

How we go about these plans makes all the difference; nothing punitive is needed here.

"Please switch trash talk for gentle encouragement. If you don’t know where to start, just set the theme for nourishment. When you are well nourished you are more likely to achieve any other aspiration you have in life."

And you needn’t leap into action immediately, perhaps January can be a time for percolation and rest. Enjoy pondering these prompts to get your wellbeing on the radar:

• What healthy habits have I forgotten about? 
• What nourishing or fun activities have I been missing? 
• What helps me feel alive? 
• What brings me a feeling of peace? 
• What tiny action can I take today?

Watch the dividends ripple out beyond you.

 

To enjoy more nourishing content with Suzy, catch up on our Instagram Live and enjoy her latest book hot off the press, Self-care for Winter. You can also join Suzy’s Wellbeing Community on Instagram, Facebook and at www.suzyreading.co.uk.